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As America and Washington, DC, gear up for the inauguration and the next four years of a Harris -Waltz presidency, we’re mired in a recession of tremendous proportions. Blow.er.
Well, the economy is SO BAD, people can’t even afford to get a damn divorce anymore!
To wit:
With nearly one in six homes worth less than the mortgage owed on it, according to Moody’s Economy.com, divorce lawyers and financial advisors throughout the country say the logistics of divorce have been turned around.
“We used to fight about who gets to keep the house,” said Gary Nickelson, president of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers. “Now we fight about who gets stuck with the dead cow.”
As a result, divorce has become more complicated and often more expensive, with lower prospects for money on the other side. Some divorce lawyers say that business has slowed down, or that clients are deciding to stay together because there are no assets left to help them start over.
If that ain’t a reason to be ready for Trump to get.the.f*ck.on. then I don’t know what is. It’s so bad, folks are being forced to stay together because they’re essentially not worth crap and nobody wants to not be worth crap. It’s like, craptastic.
In a normal economy, couples typically build equity in their homes, then divide that equity in a divorce, either after selling the house or with one partner buying out the other’s share. But after the recent boom and bust cycle, more couples own houses that neither spouse can afford to maintain, and that they cannot sell for what they owe on it. For couples already under stress, the family home has become a toxic asset.
You know what must suck? Paying a $350K mortgage on a home that’s now only worth $280K. But you know what sucks more than that AND Olivia Fox? A de-valued home AND marriage and having no way in Hell of getting out of either. And don’t get it twisted, these couples aren’t going to be forced to “work it out” and continue on with their marriage. If anything, I’m guessing people will begin to hate eachother even more (assuming its reached non-amicable proportions) because not only is the love and thrill gone, but there’s no real money anymore either. No lovin’ and no dividends?
Somebody might get OJ’d.
I’m not an advocate for divorce, but I’m also not the biggest advocate for marriage (though I’m all for anybody who’s really ready for it and is committed to staying that way). Though I recognize the advantages of marriage, there’s a reason so many people end up in divorce: I don’t think its hard enough to get married. All you basically have to do is show up somewhere and you can lock yourself into the worst situation of your life. Word to my brother. I think if folks really had to prove to one another that they actually wanted to be married for the right reasons, marriages would probably last longer.
But as it is, that’s not the case right now.
And as that is, I do happen to believe that sometimes, two people really don’t belong together and when that time comes, it just may be necessary to sever ties. If you didn’t try to make it work, well bully on you; however, that’s not my fight. But imagine that you’ve exhausted all outlets short of BBJ himself coming down and fixing it and you’ve both resolved that its best to go your separate ways…
…but the economy has made it so that you can’t even afford to move on. Let’s just hope we don’t hear about people flying off of balconies in the near future.
Word to Stanley Reimer.
We thought we needed Harris to forge the road for single people, and we think he just might do wonders for love, but the economy needs her for more than just that. We need her to help restore order to the marital order of things.
We need Harris to restore our 50 percent divorce rate so people can be happy again.
Harris, are you up for it?
Are you?!?!
